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Kid Updates Apr 10

I've started posting kid stories to Facebook, which explains the slightly odd third-person quality of these updates.  Still good stuff though.  - Eric

 

Princess

 

Hope: Mama said we could go to the Disney Store because they have all kinds of princess crap there.

Eric: Did she really say "princess crap"?

H: Yes, she doesn't like princesses. Steven said princesses were stupid because Ariel only swims, Cinderella only wears shoes, Mulan can only be a boy, Sleeping Beauty only sleeps, and what does Snow White do?

E: Uh, eat apples?

H: Yes, and clean things.

 

 

Hopey playing Bedtime with Wyatt

Hope: Do you want Baa Baa Black Sheep or Row Your Boat?

Wyatt: Hush Little Baby.

H: Actually I get to decide.

W: NO. Hush Little Baby is my special one.

H: Here's a new song you never heard before. Pony pony pony!

W: PONY PONY!

H: Oh, your aunt and uncle are here from New York to take care of you for a few days. Bye bye!

 

Bob Marley: "Every little thing gonna be all right."

Hope: What does he mean? Will ants be all right?

Dad: Yes.

H: What about elephants?

D: Huh? Yes, elephants.

H: But he said every LITTLE thing.

E: That's just a way of saying everything, big things and EVEN the little things, will be all right.

H: Right, we KNOW the big things will be all right.

E: Yes.

H: Because they can eat the little things.

 

Song Requests

Hope: Put Little Einsteins 1st on the playlist, then again 2nd.

Eric: Just replay it on headphones.

Hope: No, Wyatt wants to hear.

Wyatt: EINSTEINS PLEASE.

Eric: I'm thinking of getting you both headphones with a splitter.

Hope: Yes! Then put Little Einsteins 3rd and 4th, all the way up to 100!

Wyatt (sung): COME ON! LET'S GO! LITTLE EINSTEINS... YEAH!

Eric: Now I'm thinking of getting you two your own car.

 

ABC

Wyatt is obsessed with "ABC" by the Jackson 5. He starts demanding that I replay it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SONG.

Hope: What are their five names?

Eric: Michael, Tito, Jermaine... uh and two others.

Hope: What are the other two names?

Eric: I don't know.

Hope: What do you THINK they are?

Eric: I have no idea.

Hope: TELL ME.

Eric: Uh, Bob and John.

Hope: I think you're wrong.

 

New Shoes

Eric Hsu bought new shoes for Hope.

Hope: (sung) I love my shoes. I'm going to sleep in my shoes. I'm going to hug my shoes all day. (spoken) Do you think everyone at school is going to take turns looking at my shoes?

Eric: I think they'll like your shoes, but I don't think they'll stand around all day staring at your shoes.

Hope: Not all day! Not at nap time, they want people to lie down for that.

 

Disney Princess Wii 1

 

Eric Hsu spent 2 hours with Hope playing co-op Disney Princess Wii completing the Ariel, Jasmine and Cinderella levels. Gameplay essentially the same as Doom, but with a sparkly magic wand skin on the rocket launcher and with death animations of transformations into butterflies. Oh, and you can customize your character's hair style, dress style, bracelets, head gear and shoes. No armor or damage bonus for your choices... you just look FABULOUS.

Disney Princess Wii 2

Eric Hsu and Hope finished Disney Princess Wii. Hope beat the Snow White level that was too hard before in Providence and beat the unexpected secret boss level (Zara the Fallen Princess who lost her throne for unspecified immorality). The spoils: our castle was refurbished and refurnished, local feudal subjects were ecstatic, surprisingly tasteful "golden outfit" was awarded, and the mysterious Belle bonus level was unlocked. The bonus chapter was a savage disappointment... after looking forward to it since December, we finished it in five minutes. At least we still looked FABULOUS.

 

Eric Hsu is described twice by Hope.

Hope: Baba, you are the best. And you like to sleep a lot. But I like to wake you up so it's okay.

Hope: Baba, you are so handsome. But your underwear isn't handsome.

 

Treasure Island

Eric Hsu reports from the commute.

Hope: What kind of jewels are on Treasure Island?

Eric: There isn't any treasure, it's just a nice name.

Hope: Where did they put the treasure?

Eric: It's just a name, there was NEVER TREASURE.

Hope: Did pirates take it?

Eric: (long sigh) Yes.

Hope: Did they bury it?

 

On Olivia Newton-John

Hope: Who is Olivia's friend John?

Eric: Huh? Who's that?

Hope: Is he John Newt?

Eric: What? Wait, do you think I've been saying Olivia Newt and John?

Hope: Yeah.

Eric: No, it's just Olivia Newton-John, all one name. That would be so awesome if they were two people.

Hope: It would be even better if they were three people, Olivia, Newt and John!

 

Carey

Eric Hsu estimates, with no exaggeration, that Hopey has played "Carey" thirty times a day for the last two days. It is very likely that she thinks Carey is the singer's father. And despite corrections, she insists on singing that she has "peach tar on my feet".

 

Guacamole Dip

As of New Year's Day 2010, Wyatt has a precise, consistent conversation on fake phones: (picks up phone) "Hello?" (pause) "GUACAMOLE DIP!" (pause) "YEAH!" (puts down phone)" I guess we order Mexican takeout a lot.

 

You're The Best (Xmas 2009)

Eric Hsu thinks about absent loved ones. Hopey, noticing his reflective mood, comes over and says, "Daddy, you're the best." He gives her a quiet warm hug. Then he says, "Wait, the best what?" Hope replies, "The best merman! Come on in the water!" and then she dives into the rug.